response..

JunminChen
Professor Vance
Engl 102
17 Nov 2009
Since I started to write, every teacher taught me every good paper came from many times revising. However, I never put this in my mind. Not because I do not agree with it, but it is because even though I read my paper again and again, I still could not find out what should I revise. So, at last, I gave up. I can say, not just me, revising is many writers’ big challenge. And I found that in this “Revising for purpose” which was written by Ballenger, she gave us the answer that why revising is so hard. Just as the love story she used in the beginning, the first draft has a very different relationship with us so that even though we know that it has some imperfect places, we still do not want to change it. And also, I think that everyone would careful to write from the beginning. So, in their minds, every word was thought carefully and every sentence was decorated detailed. Then, when we want to revise it, it makes us hard to give up our first choice.
After I read this paper, I had an idea about how to revise our paper easily. As what Ballenger said, the revising is for purpose, to make the thesis stronger, to make the points tighter to each other, the make the whole paper more completely. So, I thought when we start to revise, maybe we could make a guideline first, then look up your draft again, separate your sub point in the first draft, put them under the match place then add something or subtract something. In this way, to reorganize the whole paper and find out which parts are very important, which parts are necessary, which parts are surplus? In addition to that, I found that when we finished a draft paper, maybe we can put it away then read it again after a few days. You will find that easily to finger out the problems and make some develops in your paper. Over all, revising is not a scare thing. Just use your heart to do it, and then you can feel the exciting on revising.

Reading Response...

As I read through Bruce Balleneger's The Curious Researcher on how to revise a draft to become it's finest, I found that there are many ways you can go about the task. He first starts by saying that the relationship with your paper can't just be because you worked so long and hard on it. You must revise your paper to all make sense and pertain to the main point.
So his next point is that you must follow through with your main point completely through out your paper. He suggests that by writing your thesis to your paper on a notecard to reflect on through out the writing process will help in clarifying the point in your paper.
Another good tactic to use is after your paper is written and ready for revision you can then attack it with your scissors. You cut each paragraph apart and don't worry about organization because you must shuffle them up anyways. Then you can reorganize them how you feel they should now be put in order. This way you can also sort one paragraph at a time, which ones have to do with the thesis on the notecard and which ones don't.
Bruce Ballenger just wants you to be able to take control of your paper by driving the point home with the main idea. He then contradicts himself by saying that you shouldn't over power it either. So not too light and not too heavy but just right.

revising for purpose

Reading Response

Revising has always been my weak point when making my final draft. I know how to fix most grammar and punctuation marks but it is hard for me to fully understand how to make my paper a more complete and interesting piece. After reading these pages on revising by Ballinger, I have come to understand what revising really is and means to us who are revising papers or looking at what someone else has suggested we do for our revision. I feel when I am writing a paper that I am trying to put down as much information or facts that I can make my argument or thesis more creditable or persuasive. Ballenger states that although strong information and facts are good, it is just as important to make your voice easily heard through your writing.
I have seen that my rough drafts for unit 1 and 2 need much work, and from what I have read from others comments on it, is that I need to organize my paper better so my paragraphs transition from one to another more smoothly. Also that omitting things from my paper may actually help it out more. Ballinger also says when revising your papers to look at your thesis and possibly go about changing it or looking at it from a different perspective. This can help you learn more about your topic which will make you more knowledgeable and should allow you have a stronger voice in your writing. In reading “Revising for Purpose” I feel that I will now not only be able to look at my own paper at closer detail but also to look at my fellow classmates papers as well and give them better ideas for revision. Revising is an extremely important characteristic in all aspects of writing and should not be done lightly. Like Ballinger says, revision is for a purpose, to make your writing stronger, more organized, more creative, and overall interesting and fun for your reader.

Reading Response

I never really thought of revising,how Ballenger explains it. I always thought that when someone revised my paper they were fixing punctuation marks, or giving me a hint on how to re word some information. In reality though, I myself revise my paper similar to how Ballenger explains in the reading " Revising for Purpose". Whenever I write a paper, I just let all my ideas flow and after I'm done I tend to rewrite my paper at least three to four times sometimes more, sometimes less. I have to do whatever it takes to make my paper flow even if that means changing the thesis or switching it up. Ballenger encourages us as writers to do that because as we do that we no longer are just stating facts but we show the new information with the old information and it gives our paper a voice. I personally like to show passion in my paper and try and make the reader understand how I feel about what I am writing hoping they can relate to it as well.
Although I will like to think that writing is an easy process most of the time, I have found that it can be a complex process as well. There are times when I really want to state something in my paper but the flow of the paper wouldn't match if I do so therefore I cant. Ballenger says that it is okay if we have to take out things we feel should be there and start all over. What will be even better is if we can rearrange it somehow to make the paper just great. Writing doesn't have to be boring, if your creative enough when you revise your paper you can add a special touch and make it an awesome paper.

Jasmine's Op-ed

The homeless problem has become America’s most ignored white noise that is continually growing each day. White noise is only white noise when the majority chooses to tune out the background issues of lives. The issues who are ever so changing, ever so revolving, day to day events and situations that occur in the individuals life. It all changes when one stops and listens, stops and looks to what is really happening around them. They hear the settle whisper cry, the churn of an empty stomach, they see these people along with their broken hearted dreams fighting for only its mere existence. When you look in their face you can see their eyes crying out for help. They urge to hope but they are limited because they can’t expect much from society’s actions.

What is happening to our world now? Before the only places we use to experience homelessness was in big populated cities but now it seems as if they are everywhere even in our state of residence, Idaho. It never fails to amaze me on how many people aren’t aware of this growing problem and those who are most of the time choose not to do much to change this. According to Rebecca Boone, from the Associated Press, on any given night there is between 2,000 and 4,500 people who are homeless in the city of Boise and only about 700 of them will be able to get a bed or mat in one of the area’s shelter. So what happens to the rest of them? You guessed it they have no other choice but to find a way to survive and at times this means breaking the law or doing what they have to do to stay alive another night.

Society’s neglect is embalming and magnifying the problem and has depleted hope out of most. Homelessness is becoming a routine and just another lifestyle. More and more people have accepted the thought of being homeless and don’t see any change in their future. Who are we to blame them? We have no idea what they have gone through or what they are going through. You might say just like everyone else says what about them going to a shelter? You will be shocked when you hear these homeless individuals saying they refuse to go to a shelter not because they are prideful, but according to my friend Duke, who is a victim of homelessness shelters because they could care less about them. “ They provide us with somewhere to sleep and a pb& J sandwich but that is about it, I need some resources and ideas on how I can find a job and get me and my wife and kids out of the streets” Duke said.

What brings an agency to such a crooked operation? Could it be that it is starting off of immoral bound. Something went terribly from its first intentions to its present day status. A status that, according to the US constitution and the imagery of the American dream, should be unknown. Not applicable. Unfound. No definition. Unheard of. Luckily it is not late, together we can make a difference and prevent and eliminate homelessness. If the people around us aren’t doing enough then we will.

Tattoo Trends Arise OP-ED

Tattoos have been spiritual and religious for ages, and with the banning of them as Christianity arose during the ancient Roman Empire, they have just recently taken a stand once more. But the idea of an un-clean body has ruined the spirituality of tattooing for many Christians and Muslims alike. Nan McNab in the book Body Bizarre Body Beautiful, talks about how, “People are supposed to be made in God’s image, and they didn’t want mere mortals adding graffiti [to them].” The Christian Church has always set a negative view on tattoos and for years tattoos have always meant gang relation, jail time, or plain old rebel. But with recent popularity and a new way to express your self through this art form it has been opened up to the general public. Clinton R. Sanders from his book “Customizing The Body” concurs that “the most important change has been the transformation of tattooing from the ostensibly ‘deviant’ practice…to the popular cultural phenomenon it is today.” From young college girls to beefy biker dudes flaunting their ink, whether it be fairies or nakey chicks, it all represents the person who wears it.
Ashley Bradley, my sister, and advice go-to, shared with me the other day about her thoughts on tattoos that she has yet to try out. She states, “Tattoos are personal memorials that represent your own life journey.” The young, spry, girl sitting next to you at Baskin Robins bearing a flower tattoo upon her left foot could share the same design as the older woman in the car next to you in traffic but they each have one of a kind stories and emotional connections to the similar ink patterns on their bodies. “And that’s what tattoos are all about; the experience, the emotional connection and the commitment, which are all the ingredients of a healthy spiritual life”, she concluded. It’s not a matter of good vs. evil but a matter of the voyage you take in life.
So with this new idea in, Christians around are struggling with the good vs. evil aspect of tattooing. This recent fad is practically against anything the Christians stand for and more Christians seem to be branching out to get tattooed, me being an example. As I rummaged through the bible I could only really back up the idea that God created our bodies and they are temples that we must care for. I understand reasoning on not supporting tattoos in the devil’s favor, but I struggle with the fact that a tattoo can take away from the people we truly are. They may change our physical appearance but they don’t change our hearts or the Lord’s so it’s hard for me to believe that a beautiful piece of artwork strewn across your body could affect your religious beliefs in such a fashion as she discussed.
Once you look past the restrictions churches hold upon our society, you will see the great freedom there is within this form of expression. But you must keep in mind that it is all permanent, leaving you with your ex’s name on your forearm for life. So always be sure to think before you ink. These days they have come out with ways to “fade” the tattoos but things will never be the same once you’ve been inked.

The Op-Ed

It is almost a year long since the 787billion was using in the economic system. Is there anything change? It was a most useful weapon in our people’s mind, but right now, it seems swam like a stone. The vice president said “The Federal government’s $787 billion program to reshape and stimulate the U.S economy is working better than expect”. Well, in my opinion, if the situation right now is better than their expectation, then maybe their expectation was set at a too low level at the beginning.
Do you know this word -- “To rob Peter to pay Paul”? That is what the thing happening right now. Why? Let’s say, first, the “big bill” digs a big hole of deficit. This is what the information from the web site “the deficit of the fiscal year 2009, which ended September 30, came in at a record $1.42 trillion, more than triple the record set just last year.” Oh, my god. All of us need to pay this in few years later in the form of high interest rate and taxes. Then the second thing is the taxes cutting. I knew that to those people who are the first time by house before this year, the government will give them the 8000dollars tax rebate. It sounds good. But I worried that this plan stimulates many people go to buy the house. In another words, the banks make a lot of loans that can help themselves to create the money. But I hope that they did not forget the poor people right now and this time crises happened just because too much loans were could not been paid. Well, hopping my worry is unnecessary. At last, one more thing I want to talk is for the unemployment rate. What the government said is “this stimulus plan would save or create 3.5 million jobs.” But the fact is the unemployment is 10.2% now. Those people who still have a job should feel so lucky they are. Do we doing something wrong in the stimulus plan? I am thinking that, in this plan, it saved or created the jobs by helping the companies but not the people. It cut the companies’ tax, gave them money to enlarge the job positions, but however, relies on the surface help is useless. We lost jobs because the demand of the market decreased but not the companies. The companies are only the thing that shows the relationship between the market and the workers. So, if we want to reduce the unemployment rate, we need to fix our market first. We need to recover our market, make it work normally then the demand would increase. In this way, the companies would really like to hire people because they need more workers but not just because the government gives them money to help them have enough ability to pay the workers’ salary.
After I made that much of comments on the stimulus plan, the plan has already been working for almost a year. What I can do is watching and praying.